Darwin & the Uninsured

It’s Survival of the Fittest Baby!

(originally published August 22, 2009)

To the 15% of Americans currently without health insurance, I would just like to say TOUGH SHIT! If someone as utterly lacking in intelligence, charisma, good looks, and motivation as I can manage to obtain coverage then so too can you all! And to all you filthy liberals who are always whining about the need for a national health care plan, how’s this for an idea: FUND IT YOURSELVES – VOLUNTARILY! We don’t make you tithe to our Church so stop trying to make us give our hard earned money to a government operated charity for the lazy and irresponsible! You don’t care about God and we don’t care about poor and middle class people without insurance so shut up and let’s peacefully co-exist (side by side on my piano keyboard, lord why don’t we).

Of course it is pretty ironic that you godless lefties would be so concerned about healthcare given that y’all are such fans of a certain shaggy bearded, cousin fucking, asshole named Charles Darwin. This homeless looking motherfucker turned his back on his Maker when his impudent bitch daughter caught the scarlet fever and died (wage of sin = death people). He then concocted all sorts of cockamamie theories to explain away the existence of God. Incidentally, Mr. Darwin was not nearly as upset when his infant son also died of the same disease a few years later, leading me to believe that there was probably something a little improper about his relationship with young Annie. But that’s a topic for another time. Anyway, one of Darwin’s theories does seem incredibly relevant to this debate.

Based on his assertion of so-called “Natural Selection”, what would Mr. Darwin say of the 47 million Americans currently without health insurance, were he not too busy burning in hell to comment?  “Fuck them” is what he would say and I am inclined to agree.  While there are always exceptions to the rule, there is a high probability that if you are born to lazy and poor parents, you too will be lazy and poor. You will thus contribute nothing to society and will only take from it through your free school lunches, welfare allowances, and Section 8 housing subsidies. Therefore, if you step on a rusty nail and can’t scrap together enough cash for a tetanus shot – good! The world will most certainly be a better place when you all die from your inability to obtain antibiotics and vaccinations. Not only should we deny health insurance to you leeches, but we should stop mandating that emergency rooms treat you. If I own a hospital and you come in without insurance, a big wad of cash, or a credit card with a sufficient credit limit, then I should be able to toss your ass out on to the street where you can wait for your myocardial infraction to reach its conclusion.

In summation, the uninsured can go fuck themselves.

That is all.


8 Comments

What this one did not get any atention! It is such a prefect pot stirrer of an entry

Posted 3/19/2010 at 5:29 PM by trunthepaige

@trunthepaige – You can’t argue with that which is incontrovertible.

Posted 3/19/2010 at 5:35 PM by SKANLYN

yet another great post illustrating your absolute wit and wisdom.

ahem.

Satireftw.

Posted 10/1/2010 at 5:26 AM by pewterrose

This has got to be one of the most ignorant posts I have ever read. There are quite a few people who do not have insurance that DO work… their jobs either a) don’t offer insurance at all or b) don’t offer it to part timers or c) they own their own business and can’t afford insurance without a group plan. I know people who work multiple part time jobs just to keep food on the table, but because they’re part time, they get no insurance.

This stupid health care bill, which I don’t like either, at least makes it a requirement that part time employees be able to get insurance through their jobs. Many employers have been purposefully hiring people only part time just to get out of having to offer them insurance. Now they can’t get away with that.

Then there is the simple fact that if you do not love your neighbor, who you CAN see, how in the world can you possibly say you love a God you can’t see. You apparently don’t care much about God either, especially using such ignorant language. It is people like you who give people who believe in God a bad rep.

Darwin retracted a lot of what he wrote before he died, but there is a lot of validity in much of his research. No, people most likely did not evolve from monkeys, that is ridiculous speculation at best, but there is evidence of change over time in nearly every species on the planet… even some recent stuff that happened in only a couple of decades.

Posted 10/1/2010 at 9:20 AM by keystspf

@trunthepaige – because it’s satire.

Posted 10/1/2010 at 4:44 AM by Diva_Jyoti

Pwned.

Posted 10/1/2010 at 7:20 AM by SodomyClown

@Diva_Jyoti – This is one of those times I’m going to take what you said and assume the best.

Posted 10/1/2010 at 11:26 AM by trunthepaige

I’m really, really hoping this is satire.

Posted 10/1/2010 at 1:56 PM by xWaltzAlyssax
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s