SKANLYN’s Thoughts on Autumn

(originally published on Xanga September 21, 2010)

The leaves are already starting to change colors. Soon they will be orange and red and purple and yellow. A lot of you people will say “Oh how pretty!” Some of you will even take a trip to the mountains to see what you can readily see on each side of the road during your drive to work. You are stupid! Leaves are pretty when they are green. They are not pretty when they are orange or red or purple or yellow. Multi-colored leaves are sad. When they change colors, it means they will soon fall from the trees leaving bare branches behind. What’s more depressing than a bare tree? Nothing you assholes! And soon after the trees are bare it will be dark and cold and  everything will be dead. It will not be warm or green again for a long, long time. If you like fall, you are a fucking idiot and I hope you die and go to Fucking Idiot Hell.

That is all.


Leaves never excited me. Other than provide an adequate shade during the summer months they have done nothing to my benefit.

Posted 9/20/2010 at 7:24 PM by SodomyClown

the changing of the leaves is only the most beautiful time of the year. i take long drives through the shenandoah valley and take beautiful snapshots. it is just so picturesque. most times i even find the most prettiest leaves and take them back for the wax paper art projects for my Fall scrapbooks.  it is also a reminder that the cool, brisk weather is right around the corner. time to get your mittens and scarves ready, make sure you have plenty of hot cocoa and marshmellows….ahhhh good times.

Posted 9/20/2010 at 7:42 PM by phillyista

Well, I like how nice all the different colors look, but I agree – once everything’s dead, it’s so depressing.

Posted 9/20/2010 at 8:0 PM by Queen_of_You188

@phillyista – Wise ass.

Posted 9/20/2010 at 9:43 PM by SKANLYN

But.. but, ..what about the nice weather? and the fact that new baby leaves can grow now because of it? :O

It’s the happiest thing in the world!

Posted 9/20/2010 at 9:46 PM by nov_way

define ‘pretty’

Posted 9/20/2010 at 7:49 PM by Diva_Jyoti

I love the changes in seasons.  The leaves are gorgeous here.  When they are all gone, we have a beautiful carpet of leaves on the ground.  Then pretty soon, it starts snowing and a lovely blanket of white covers everything…and when the sun goes down, everything turns purple, and it’s just lovely.  So yeah…I love fall.  And winter..and spring.  Summer’s pretty muggy.

Posted 9/20/2010 at 11:2 PM by musicmom60

@musicmom60 – Have fund spending your weekends raking and shoveling snow.

Posted 9/21/2010 at 12:52 AM by SKANLYN

@TheDarkCreature – Depends whose death and whose life.

Posted 9/20/2010 at 9:51 PM by SKANLYN

@ItIsAllGravy –

LOL he’s CRUSHING the smily face in his hand! (or whoever’s hand it is) @SKANLYN – messaged you re: your last comment to me elsewhere

Posted 9/25/2010 at 6:29 AM by Diva_Jyoti

Death is beautiful. Life, not so much.

Posted 9/20/2010 at 9:47 PM by TheDarkCreature

I’m confused. Is this purposely retarded or was that an accident?

Posted 9/27/2010 at 7:16 PM by hintofme

I can see why you have a big smiley face for your profile pic now.  At first it didn’t make sense, but now that I’ve read this, I get it.

Posted 9/24/2010 at 5:12 PM by ItIsAllGravy

@SKANLYN – who me?

Posted 9/20/2010 at 9:51 PM by phillyista

i love autumn. i love the colors. i love bald trees. death fascinates me. it all makes sense.

Posted 10/14/2010 at 12:14 PM by hilaw

Ha well that’s one way of looking at it!

Posted 10/14/2010 at 11:53 AM by imTHEmeowMIXcat

I’m glad this is where you draw the line on who should go to fucking idiot hell: the aesthetic nature and beauty of leaves based on their color.

Posted 9/29/2010 at 1:25 AM by Dewdropsonthegrass

@hintofme – Stop flirting, guys.

Posted 9/29/2010 at 1:27 AM by Dewdropsonthegrass

there better be multicolored leaves in fucking idiot hell.

Posted 10/1/2010 at 5:41 AM by raspberryjade

@hintofme – The only accident was the one that occurred when your drunken momma conceived you. A shame she was not able to crawl out of that blackout in time to terminate the pregnancy and spare the taxpayers from having to support another one of you fetal alcohol syndrome fuck-ups.

Posted 9/27/2010 at 7:36 PM by SKANLYN

@SKANLYN – Wow, you describe it in such great detail. I can only imagine how many times your shrink has heard you mutter those exact same words whilst talking about yourself.

Listen slugger, don’t beat yourself up 2 much. There is more to life than being interesting, witty and talented.So those are not your strong points.It’s okay. I’m sure you have a plethora of other “special gifts” that make you relevant.

Hey, if nothing else you can represent “0” when people describe things between “0 through 10” on a list of bad to good.

So go ahead and take that pistol out of your mouth (and when I say pistol, I mean your fathers dick) and live another day!

Hooray for you!!!!

Posted 9/27/2010 at 8:21 PM by hintofme


Posted 9/28/2010 at 6:50 PM by SaveTheAnus

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